untiled

Hold my hand, Don't let go.
Don't be afraid to let your feelings show.
Wrap your arms around me tight.
Let me know it's gonna be alright.
There was a time I could call you mine,
I knew everything would be just fine.
But now I'm shattered from the love that I once knew.
I do not like the way I feel one day or minute with out you.
I miss my love, and I miss him bad.
I miss all the love that we once had.
Before I go, I really do love you.
You are my heart, my soul, the only one for me....It's true!!

Stressing and stuff

So I am just not having a good day and just wanted to write and get it out. I have this big whopping judgement paper that I had 20 days to reply or they are taking my paycheck and today is the 14th day. There is no way I can pay for it because it's for over 12 thousand dollars because of my ex, he conned me into signing for a vehicle he promised he'd pay for and he couldn't do it so he took it back to the dealership and now they are after me for the money. I have payed off other judgements because of him but this is just too much!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm alone. I am a single parent trying to work and make ends meet. I have to pay for my son to be in day care, my rent, my phone bill, and for the jeep. How am I going to do any of that if they take my paycheck and stuff? I am just so stressed out! Skylar has not been feeling well and has been fevering and i think he's finally starting to feel better. Then I get a call today that one of my friends is in the hospital, whom I beleived to be my sister at one point and I have other collection people calling!!! I just can't beleieve the choices and the not thinking I did when I was younger. I thought that I would never find someone so I went with someone I knew who was not right for me and treated me terrible. We wont go into it.... But my total fear is that I wont be able to make ends meet and now that I have the love of my life, I have a fear...and it's just a fear....That he will leave because of stupid choices I made in my past. I know that he's not like that but I just... I don't know... I want to start fresh and new and not have to worry about stuff from the past and move on to my happy life with my son, family, and the love of my life. I just don't know what to do. I feel trapt!!!

Why?

I was talking to my mom today, and she told me she asked Skylar if he misses his dad. Skylar says "No he's not my dad anymore" My mom asked him why does he say that " Because he doesn't come and see me and when I go to their house they don't have my picture on the wall. They have Neo's and owens, he's not my dad". Now I don't know about you guys but that hurts my heart. Sky used to want to spend time with his dad and go to his house but his dad doesn't call him or ask for him to come over or have part in his school stuff and what not. Sky feels like he's too busy with his girlfriends kids to be able to be bothered with him. I don't blame Skylar one bit but it hurts my heart that it's happend to him. He needs a male figure in his life to help him through the times that obviously I cant. I do have a wonderful most amazing man ever that Skylar really loves and adores, I just hope that one day he wont go out of our lives like sky's dad did to him. The way I look at this relationship, I wanna be in it forever. I've never felt like that with any of my past relationships, but my view on this one is different, it feels right. I just don't know what his view is. Anyways I just needed to get the whole sky's dad thing out.....Until next time....

Work Frustration

So I haven't written anything in a long time. This obviously is not a poem, I'm not sure on how to put things under titles and stuff but anyways I am really frustrated with work. In the almost five years I have worked for Family Dollar, I have not had such problems as I do now. My store most of the time looks like crap, I do not close but like once a week and I do a good recovery on those nights, but it seems like I am the only one doing it!! They let Jon go and brought in someon else which she does not know what the hell she is doing. I have had to teach her on how to do the cycle counts and ordering and the damaged and stolen products and how to put them in the computer and how to send emails and various things on the computer. For the first few weeks I was the one doing all of it. Then I will tell her something and she will look at me like I don't know what the hell I am talking about and she will call her daughter of the Salt Lake store and her daughter will tell her the same thing as I did and then she will do it. She makes me feel like I'm an idiot. Now we have two of hour employees fighting with eachother and one says it's the other that goes or they will. I'm getting way overwhelmed. I stress enough about my store, I do my best but I am getting so worn out. There are other things that I could add to the list that bug me and that are stressing me out but Will leave it at that... Everyone used to ask why I don't go find a better job. I didn't think I needed to, but with all this happening, it makes me think maybe I should. I don't know. If I am taking on all this, I just don't see why they didn't give me the store that has been like my home for all the years I have been there.

The one

When I met you, I knew you were the one.
The one who would treat me right, the one I could count on.
It's the way I've always wanted it, it's like a dream of mine come true.
If only I could have the world, I'd share it all with you.